When I was in 100 level, I attended my ever first NFCS FUNAAB end of the session camp retreat. Apart from the camp fire the other thing I always look forward to is the Dinner night, where we have contestants compete for the title of Mr and Miss NFCS FUNAAB. My then 2 friends, Lolade and Chibundu were contesting against each other, I was interested in competing too but I don’t want to compete with my friends because I’m a very sore looser and I’ll say my self esteem was really low then. It was the afternoon of the day and I was shared into the same “family” with a the current Mr NFCS at that time. They were doing a cooking competition and we were all seated, the first thing this guy told me was “kilode ti Iwo o contest, wa wa joko ma patewo fun awon egbe e” meaning “why are you not contesting, so we will just sit down there and be clapping for mates”. For someone with a very low self esteem as that that time I felt really bad and angry because that was the first time you’d talk to me and the first thing you will say was such in a condescending manner. I felt bad for the rest of the afternoon, I didn’t want to go to the dinner party anymore, a battered self esteem coupled with a really bad condition of social anxiety and a level mate, Linda dragged me out to the party coupled with Hector telling me I make sure I come. Well, I’m glad did listen to them because when I got to the party both of my friends that were contesting, Lolade and Chibundu were looking for me and they said they’d be very sad if i didn’t show up to cheers them on. That night, I was truly happy for them and enjoyed cheering them on in the crowd.
Words have effects on our moods and actions, especially when you are emotional like myself., most times we let what people say get to us and deprive us that happiness we were meant to enjoy. We should not let what people that don’t really know you or even know everything about you determine your state of mind and influence your own mood. Do yourself and enjoy life (with common sense).
We have influence on people without even knowing we do. The most easy way to influence people is by what we say. Everybody is having it rough out there and for some people it might not even show that they are going through a lot. Everybody is battling out there and the least we can do is to be nice to everyone and don’t conclude about anything because it is really not your business and you don’t even know what’s going on in the person’s head. I was over hearing someone saying the only reason you’d be invited to a ceremony and you won’t come is because you are proud, and that doesn’t sit well with me because you don’t even know what silent battles the person is fighting, you don’t know how the person runs their life and you are in no position to judge.
Being considerate should be a part of our daily lives, words can kill and heal, and it’s popularly said that actions are louder than words but I’ll tell you that words are more impactful and piercing than actions. As a boss, a friend, father, a mother, a wife, a husband and so on, be kind to everyone around you and don’t judge.
I met someone recently and he is always happy and jolly, he usually tell me that “life is too small to me too serious and unkind, enjoy life and be happy when you can”. Really, we don’t have all the time to always right our wrongs, I believe at every opportunity we see, we should grab it, and be nice.
Telling you to be kind does not mean I’m advocating for some particular set of people that are not so dwelling in wisdom, they repeat the same mistake every time, they see opportunities to leave a toxic non profiting ship and they still stay for “love” or the “goodies” and “attention” people like this deserve to hear the raw undiluted truth but after talking to them in love for various times.
Be nice but don’t be a fool.
Be kind but don’t get used.
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Love, Light and Amala,
Oluseun Ayanfebaba.
Beautifully written.
Love, Light, and Amala.😋
This is a beautiful piece… Weldone